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Home Archives for Failure

Therapy, Not a Scavenger Hunt

Posted on April 30, 2013 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Ugly?  Stupid?  Broke?  Too Old?  ADHD?  Lazy?  Crazy?  Too (Fill in with one or more  familiar miserable thoughts about yourself).

We  believe that we’re  inadequate, missing SOMETHING…but what?  We buy in to what our family, friends, colleagues, classmates or the media would like us to think. “They’re right,” we mope. ” I’m just not good enough. We think,stopsign

“If only I were  (fill in the blank) or,

         if only I could (fill in the blank) or,

                   if it weren’t for my (fill in the blank)

                                 then I (= my life) would be okay!  Really?                                                     

This photo has it right. We are ALL good enough. That’s the starting place for creativity, transformation and re-invention in our daily life which, by nature has it’s ups and downs, challenges and joys. Sometimes (much of the time) life CAN be okay. It starts with each of us. We ARE enough. Each of us, AS WE ARE,  is the starting point.

Therapy isn’t about finding the missing links, broken pieces, different parents, better children, or winning personality lottery numbers. It starts with knowing how great we each, truly, are. The clues are right in front of and inside us. A good therapist helps us re-consider where and who we are today without the lens of our own negative judgements. A good coach steers a client away from the self doubt, guilt, or indecision he brings. Loving our inadequacies is a useless hobby.

It’s baseball season. So, batter up on your own behalf. Yelling foul doesn’t get you on first.

 

 

Filed Under: Depression, Failure, Frustration, Hopelessness, Low Self Esteem, Poor Self Image, Self Esteem, Teen Anxiety, Therapeutic Coaching, Therapy, Troubled Teens, Underachievement

Helping Kids Before There’s “Real” Trouble

Posted on March 7, 2013 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

ctpost-3613As schools and mental health providers struggle to improve identification and delivery of services to children and adolescents with mental health issues, let’s not overlook the vital role of preventative care available to families whose struggles are “normal,” whose children may not need psychiatric help but may need assistance dealing with issues life presents.

The article in Sunday’s Connecticut Post, (“How to identify, help kids with mental health disorders), does not address those with normal struggles — struggles that if left unaddressed might very well develop into something more debilitating.

The first-grader who is shy becomes the third-grader a bit lonely. By seventh grade, is he isolated, and by ninth, bullied? What happens in senior year? Is she cutting herself? Is he aggressive? Are there drugs, academic troubles, and risky behavior which might have been averted if families had reached out before there was “trouble”? For children, teens and families stressed by today’s social and environmental factors, those without “mental health disorders,” it can be all too short a jump to labels and “problems.”

As a life skills therapist and communications coach who deals with stress management, I urge parents who wonder about their children, “Is something wrong?” not to wait. Take action. Better to take a pre-emptive strike on the difficulties our kids bury, even if they don’t seem monumental at the time. Like the homeland security ad on TV, “If you see something, say something” — if you think something’s off with your child, there probably is. Check it out. Make it right before there’s a crisis, diagnosis, file, label or doctor needed. It’s not “making a mountain out of a molehill”; it’s preventing that mountain down the road from spewing lava.

Allison B. Spitzer

Read more: http://www.ctpost.com/news/article/Take-action-before-child-s-problems-worsen-4333854.php#ixzz2MuIHVT8f

Filed Under: ADD/ADHD, Adolescent Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Back to School, Behavioral Problems, Bullies, Communication Breakdowns, Conflict Resolution, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Defiance, Failure, Fears, Frustration, Hopelessness, Kids & School, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, Motivation Problems, Parenthood, Parenting Problems, Peer Problems, Relationship Problems, Rudeness, Sadness, Social Problems, Stress, Stress Management, Teen Anxiety, Teen Troubles, Truancy, Underachievement

If you are having problems with ADD,  Stress, … Read More

What specifically troubles you, your child, or … Read More

Call: 203-218-2200 203-261-7615 Email: allison@sp … Read More

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