(Expressive Therapy) Arts, Crafts, tips and tools for navigating life’s challenges in a thin world! Time for talk and relaxing expressive arts fun.
A safe, judgement free, upbeat, lift your spirit night out. No kvetching. Staying positive, creating something beautiful, and making connections. For details contact me directly! Why not have fun while talking things over? Call/contact/email for location, dates and fee details. Do it now if you’re sick of being alone or cranky!
Candice Bergen, a stunningly gorgeous and gifted actress with a lifetime of accolades recently wrote a memoir. According to People Magazine, what she wants us to know, first and foremost, is neither that she is the daughter of the great Edgar Bergen, or anything related to her superb creative legacy.
NO, she wants the public to know now, in advance, that she is FAT. Really. THIS is what Candice feels she needs to announce and dispense with?
Oprah tells the story of accepting a BIG award ( as in Emmy, Oscar or other) and rather than pride at that moment, she only felt shame; humiliated by her weight. Finding joy in her accomplishments was impossible in her dress size.
Two intelligent, powerful women with so much to say, and their first message or memory is about their weight. Is that what you’ll remember about Oprah? Or Candice?
Well, how about the rest of us? I don’t have the awards of either one, nor the legacy.
If Candice and Oprah feel existentially undeserving, assured of chastisement, or that our sole curiosity about them will focus on their size, how are the rest of us supposed to find a little self esteem beneath our flab?
C’mon, America.
Stop the snickering, stop the fat phobia, the fat prejudice and the fat condescension.
Candice and Oprah are NOT failures and neither are the rest of us. None of us should have to defend ourselves because of our BMI’s.
You’ve got shared history together. You love and you are loved. SO, why do you STILL feel lonely within a primary relationship with your spouse, family member, or friend? Long-term feelings of isolation make us depressed, stressed, angry and empty.
“He/she just doesn’t communicate (feelings)! She/he wants information from me but never says much in return.” I meet and coach families that know virtually nothing about each other’s inner hopes and heartbreaks, pasts and plans. We are all so swept up with life, it’s hard to make time for emotional intimacy. Are we listening across the generations to each others’ hurts and heartbeats, memories and dreams?
Psychologist Arthur Aron says “One key pattern (in) the development of a close relationship is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self disclosure.” I agree.
If your husband never gives any details about his “bad day at work,” or you avoid telling a close friend about your medical challenges, you and they lose important opportunities for intimacy.
Simply being with a parent, best friend, cousin, or spouse, even when we’re engaged in meaningful, productive activity just isn’t enough. It’s natural to be instinctively protective or even ashamed of our weaknesses, fears and failures. Today though, I choose a different path. I am courageous. I’ve learned to draw closer by consciously baring and (selectively) sharing my “Achilles heels,” by starting conversations at a deeper level and asking questions which get to the heart of things.
I don’t expect immediate solutions or changes related to these moments, just the benefits of love and loving.
