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Home Archives for Anger

This Meditation Cools Down Summer Stress

Posted on July 7, 2016 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

It’s HOT! When tempers flare, the thermostat’s at 90, your patience is gone, and anxiety, stress and depression put you over the edge, try this (quick), easy exercise to calm your mind. Either have someone read this to you, or record it yourself into your phone, then play it back. Speak slowly and put on soft, gentle background music if you’d like.

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1. Close your eyes. Take deep breaths in and out. Imagine a summer breeze filling your lungs and on the out-breath, see any toxins within leaving your body. Continue until you feel brighter  inside.

2. Fall into a gentle breathing pattern. See the summer sun high in the sky. Imagine its golden rays beaming down into the top of your head, continuing over your face, neck, chest, your heart and back, continuing down your arms, sides, down through your belly, around your hips, down through your seat, your thighs and knees, your shins and out the bottoms of your feet — sending sunshine deep into the earth. Let the  warmth relax each muscle, melting all tensions away. When every cell is vibrating, tune into your sacred body energy (chakra) centers.

3. Allow the crown chakra (top of your head) to see and open to a  small, golden circle that is rotating clockwise. Do the same with your third eye chakra, (mid-forehead), your throat chakra, your heart chakra, and your solar plexus chakra, your sacral chakra, and finally your root chakra. Take your time.

4. Straighten your spine, creating a straight line from your crown  all the way down to your tailbone (“root” chakra).

5. Then, see a water pitcher pouring cool water into your crown. This flowing water is filled with the light of a thousands stars. This starlit water feels cool, and as you receive it, the clockwise rotation slows down a bit. The ripples seem like a summer lake at sunset. They calm you.

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6. Lower the water pitcher to your mid forehead. As the starlit water flows here, let the motion slow down further, and see the ripples bringing you peace.

7. The water pitcher pours starlight right into your throat chakra, cooling and relaxing our tired voice. As the clockwise motion slows and the ripples form, take a moment to listen to your thoughts.

8. Then pour starlight water into your heart (chakra). When this chakra feels relaxed, send this tranquility inwards & outwards to a friend, relative or neighbor. 

9. Repeat with your solar plexus chakra, and know that when we calm this area, we can become more grounded and centered.

10. As we move this celestial water pitcher down to our sacral chakra, pouring starlight into this chakra and allowing the clockwise motion to slow, imagine the ripples of this chakra glowing with all colors of the rainbow. See the reflection of this chakra’s rainbow lake and gaze into it asking for a vision of the future. Take your time receiving this vision and message.

          

11. Now take three new deep breaths. This time bring the star filled water pitcher down to your “root” chakra (tailbone). As you pour the cooling water into your root chakra, know that this water is healing your entire body and immune system. Let the water flow down your legs to your feet. Let the healing water flow onto the ground and be absorbed by Mother Earth.

12. See yourself as whole and complete and healthy. Take time to have a vision of yourself engaging in an activity that adds health to your lifestyle. Notice that you are strong and joyful.

13. Come back and imagine yourself back in your meditative space. You are relaxed and calm. You feel balanced and at rest. You have stopped the world from spinning so fast and spent these moments receiving healing. You have remained open to the universe and all of the wonderful gifts it has for you.  When you are ready open your eyes.

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Edited from © Heather Estara (via Adam Bernstein, @ BetweenTheWorlds.com)

Filed Under: Alternative Therapies, Anger, Anxiety, Coping Skills, Depression, depression treatment, Hopelessness, Meditation, Motivation Problems, Nervousness, Sadness, Self Help, Stress, Stress Management, Teen Anxiety, Therapeutic Coaching, Wellness

Famous Quotes To Help With Focus, Anxiety, & Stress

Posted on September 1, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Your focus, stress, and anxiety, deserve a gift. Use these quotes to breathe mindfully and more joyously. 

We rarely hear the inward music, but we’re dancing to it nevertheless…Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen… Rumi

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler…Henry David Thoreau

Each morning we are born again what we do today is what matters most…. Buddha

No problem is ever solved in the same consciousness that was used to create it… Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none… Albert Einstein

Be happy in the moment; that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more…Mother Teresa

There is a vitality, a life force and energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique… Martha Graham

In today’s rush we all think too much-seek too much-want too much-and forget about the joy of just being. When you make friends with the present moment, you feel at home no matter where you are… Eckhart Tolle

Smile, breathe, and go slowly… Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment, you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply… Thich Nhat Hanh

In the doing of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed…Kahlil Gibran

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens… Carl Jung

Paradise is not a place; it is a state of consciousness… Sri Chinmoy

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit…Aristotle

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to men as it is, infinite…William Blake

Go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows…The only journey os the journey within…Rainer Maria Rilke

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had… Elizabeth Kubler- Ross

Every moment is a utterly unique and will not be continued in eternity. This fact gives life its poignancy. Concentrate your attention on what you are experiencing now…We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us… Joseph Campbell

Develop an interest in life as you see it: the people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself… Henry Miller

Silence is the great teacher. You must pay attention to it. There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge and stability to come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence…Deepak Chopra>

He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions… Confucius

The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now…Robert Ingersoll

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens to the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you ever have… Howard Thurman

Mindfulness is about love and loving life .When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that. Each time is for the first time. Each moment the only moment..Jon Kabat – Zinn

Quotes taken from Art For Mindfulness Geometrics, by Andy Paciorek

Filed Under: Alternative Therapies, Anger, Anxiety, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Hopelessness, Meditation, Self Help, Stress, Stress Management, Therapeutic Coaching

Frustration: Is Anybody Listening? Does Anyone Care?

Posted on March 9, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Frustrated because you can’t “get a word in edgewise?”

Do people cut you off off mid-sentence, interrupt with glee, and  let you know they’ve got your issues (and you) all figured out? Worse, are you the one who does it when others are talking to you?

By nature as a child, I was. My mind raced, but with age, professional training and  mindfulness, I do listen actively now, hear first, and slow down beyond my instinct. You can too.

Professionally it’s clear how profoundly and well problems can be transformed by allowing a story simply to be told and felt deeply to an “active” listener, without my immediate input, interruption, or response. And I’ve benefitted from the same techniques with friends and family.

When you are angry and frustrated here are some options:

Say, “I need to finish this thought,”  or “Tell me what you think I am trying to say.”

When your teenager blusters, your husband hollers, and you’ve had enough, say, “Let me make sure I’ve got what you’re saying.” It will ratchet things down a notch. Diffuse the potential firestorm by taking this tiny “time out. “

The beauty of our deepest relationships is that we truly feel heard. Our friends, lovers, or neighbors may not have the solutions to our dilemma, but show they care by simply taking in what we say fully. They offer clarity before courses of action. They validate and diffuse tough decisions or conversations until we can think clearly.

Taking our reactions off the table until we’ve heard all that needs to be said isn’t disengaging, denying,  or losing! It’s creating possibility.

Filed Under: Adolescent Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Attention Deficit Disorder, Communication Breakdowns, Conflict Resolution, Family Breakdowns, Family Conflicts, Frustration, Marital Counseling, Relationship Problems, Rudeness, Therapeutic Coaching

Sibling Rivalry or Emotional Abuse? When the Bully’s at the Dinner Table

Posted on February 17, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Do you have a sibling that “teased” you relentlessly? Were you bullied by an older brother or sister that still wants to hurt you?

The phenomenon has become a “diagnosis.” We carry those deep scars and the questions surrounding them into adulthood. That childhood bully, the brother or sister who teased you, smacked you, and actually brutalized you emotionally, needs to be seen for what he/she was. An aggressor.  A needy, damaged, hurting child left untreated. You were their closest target. images-2

“Bullying” creates fear, low self esteem, and worse, begins at home. In childhood, there’s no way to escape.  The parents, especially before bullying came into the public eye with the current school bullying laws, let things go.

They said “That’s how boys are.” Or, “She’s your sister, just ignore it.”

The brother or sister who relentlessly called you names, excluded you, frightened you, and in fact hated you, had true psychological problems your parents never addressed. That sibling shaped your worldview and self image.images

Now that you’re grown, you don’t have to take it! Or them.
If you’re parenting, put a stop to it. We are savvier today.
Everyone involved needs help.

#siblingrivalry #siblingabuse

Filed Under: Adult Children Issues, Anger, Bullies, Communication Breakdowns, Depression, Family Conflicts, Hopelessness, Peer Problems, Relationship Problems, Sibling Rivalry, Uncategorized

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