• Blog
  • Home
  • Services/Approaches
    • Adolescents, Young Adults, & Young Professionals
    • Adults
    • Alternative & Expressive Therapies
    • Children
    • Coaching
    • Couples & Families
    • Talk Therapy
  • Your Concerns
  • About Allison
  • First Visit
  • Classes & Groups
  • Contact

allison@spitzerhealth.com
203-218-2200

Home Archives for Family Breakdowns

Busy, Burnt-Out, Bummed Out YOU?

Posted on August 25, 2016 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Stop the steamroller that heads to anxiety, stress and depression.images-2

It’s almost September and everyone’s rushing to “Register.” For what???? Classes, sports, after-school “experiences,”  and on and on. Parents dread the crazy chauffeuring schedules and costs. Kids are overwhelmed by the new level of work at school and emotional adjustments to a new environment. Everyone’s huffing and puffing and by October, my phone rings off the hook.

How about scheduling a few family hikes or bikes or day trips? Or committing to an old fashioned family-around-the-table dinner conversation three times a week this fall instead of rehearsal and practices? You ‘ll save on gas, and maybe therapy when everyone’s in the same place at the same time just BE-ing, bonding, and listening to one another. The stress of fitting food, homework, deadlines, chores, friends, exercise may just stop the anxiety before it starts. Worth a try.

Filed Under: Adolescent Issues, Alternative Therapies, Back to School, Blended Families, Communication Breakdowns, depression treatment, Exhaustion, Family Breakdowns, Family Therapy, Kids & School, Life Skills, Marital Therapy, Parenthood, Parenting Problems, Stress, Stress Management, Teen Anxiety, Therapeutic Coaching, Underachievement, Wellness

Frustration: Is Anybody Listening? Does Anyone Care?

Posted on March 9, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Frustrated because you can’t “get a word in edgewise?”

Do people cut you off off mid-sentence, interrupt with glee, and  let you know they’ve got your issues (and you) all figured out? Worse, are you the one who does it when others are talking to you?

By nature as a child, I was. My mind raced, but with age, professional training and  mindfulness, I do listen actively now, hear first, and slow down beyond my instinct. You can too.

Professionally it’s clear how profoundly and well problems can be transformed by allowing a story simply to be told and felt deeply to an “active” listener, without my immediate input, interruption, or response. And I’ve benefitted from the same techniques with friends and family.

When you are angry and frustrated here are some options:

Say, “I need to finish this thought,”  or “Tell me what you think I am trying to say.”

When your teenager blusters, your husband hollers, and you’ve had enough, say, “Let me make sure I’ve got what you’re saying.” It will ratchet things down a notch. Diffuse the potential firestorm by taking this tiny “time out. “

The beauty of our deepest relationships is that we truly feel heard. Our friends, lovers, or neighbors may not have the solutions to our dilemma, but show they care by simply taking in what we say fully. They offer clarity before courses of action. They validate and diffuse tough decisions or conversations until we can think clearly.

Taking our reactions off the table until we’ve heard all that needs to be said isn’t disengaging, denying,  or losing! It’s creating possibility.

Filed Under: Adolescent Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Attention Deficit Disorder, Communication Breakdowns, Conflict Resolution, Family Breakdowns, Family Conflicts, Frustration, Marital Counseling, Relationship Problems, Rudeness, Therapeutic Coaching

Radio Interview: Snow: Family Anxiety or Opportunity?

Posted on February 19, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

http://www.periwinklehealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/SNOW-DAYS-RADIO-INTERVIEW.mp3

 

Radio Interview: Click,  Listen 6 mins., Comment ? Share!

 

images

Filed Under: Communication Breakdowns, Coping Skills, Family Breakdowns, Family Conflicts, Low Self Esteem, Parenthood, Parenting Problems, Stress, Therapeutic Coaching

Love, Vulnerability, & Relationship Problems

Posted on February 2, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

You’ve got shared history together. You love and you are loved. SO, why do you STILL feel lonely within a primary relationship with your spouse, family member, or friend?  Long-term feelings of isolation make us depressed, stressed, angry and empty.

“He/she just doesn’t communicate (feelings)!  She/he wants information from me but never says much in return.” I meet and coach families that know virtually nothing about each other’s inner hopes and heartbreaks, pasts and plans. We are all so swept up with life, it’s hard to make time for emotional intimacy.  Are we listening across the generations  to each others’ hurts and heartbeats, memories and dreams?

Psychologist Arthur Aron says “One key pattern (in) the development of a close relationship is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self disclosure.” I agree.

If your husband never gives any details about his “bad day at work,”  or you avoid telling a close friend about your medical challenges, you and they lose important opportunities for intimacy.

images-3

Simply being with a parent, best friend, cousin, or spouse, even when we’re engaged in meaningful, productive activity just isn’t enough. It’s natural to be instinctively protective or even ashamed of our weaknesses, fears and failures. Today though, I choose a different path. I am courageous. I’ve learned to draw closer by consciously baring and (selectively) sharing my “Achilles heels,” by starting conversations at a deeper level and asking questions which get to the heart of things.

I don’t expect immediate solutions or changes related to these moments,  just the benefits of love and loving.

 

Filed Under: Adult Children Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Communication Breakdowns, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Depression, Divorce, Family Breakdowns, Family Conflicts, Frustration, Grief, Hopelessness, Indifference, Introversion, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, Marital Counseling, Marital Therapy, Sadness, Stress Management, Therapy, Transitions, Women's Issues

Services/Approaches

If you are having problems with ADD,  Stress, … Read More

Your Concerns

What specifically troubles you, your child, or … Read More

Contact Us

Call: 203-218-2200 203-261-7615 Email: allison@sp … Read More

Follow Us

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Testimonials
  • Support Groups, Resources, Classes

Copyright © 2023 Allison B. Spitzer, Periwinkle Health. All Rights Reserved.
Coaching Websites by MDT Design LLC