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Home Archives for Crying Spells

WCBS NY Radio, Allison Spitzer of Spitzer Health Comments on Greenwich School Debate 6/14/1

Posted on June 16, 2016 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

https://www.spitzerhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/FED2F715-60A4-4F51-84F9-AA72EE173F04.mp3

Do teens really need to “sleep in?” Though the Greenwich , CT Public Schools think so, the issue should be much more than the daily school starting time.

What has wreaked havoc on our teenagers’  bodies and emotional well being creating stress, anxiety and depression is the overloading of extracurriculars, academic study, volunteer, fitness, and social demands placed on our kids by both parents and educators. Some want their numbers to look good (How many graduates went on to college? How many Ivies?) and parents who want their children to succeed beyond everyone’s comfort level.

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I say ENOUGH. Starting later is great but won’t have any effect unless we examine  the demands we make on teens to perform and produce like superstars.

In Fairfield County, CT, we’ve created the emotional and physical exhaustion high school students feel. If the evening’s pressures, and the endless texting and FB postings aren’t under control at midnight, it really doesn’t matter what time school starts in the morning. Everyone’s in trouble. We need to manage our  expectations of what we see as  reasonable for our children to accomplish and engage in. It may be less than we hope, less than what we believe they are capable of, or less than needed for the colleges families aspire to have their child attend.

images-2The good news, though, is our kids may be happier, have good memories of this time in their lives, and less conflict at home. They’ll also have to learn to self regulate their impulses, set better boundaries on what they take on and hence be better prepared for the independence of adulthood which lies just ahead. Just talk to the families of kids with serious emotional issues–stress, depression, anxiety, panic, self harm, or addiction. They’d give anything just to see their kid smile. The pressure just isn’t worth it. Sleep’s only a part of the picture.

Filed Under: ADD/ADHD, Adolescent Issues, Anxiety, Anxiety Treatment, Behavioral Problems, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Depression, Depression Management, Depression Therapist, Exhaustion, Family Conflicts, Family Therapy, Frustration, Hopelessness, Kids & School, Life Skills, Moodiness, Motivation Problems, Parenting Problems, Relationship Problems, School Advocacy, Self Help, Stress, Stress Management, Teen Anxiety, Teen counseling, Teen Troubles, Therapeutic Coaching, Troubled Teens

Famous Quotes To Help With Focus, Anxiety, & Stress

Posted on September 1, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

Your focus, stress, and anxiety, deserve a gift. Use these quotes to breathe mindfully and more joyously. 

We rarely hear the inward music, but we’re dancing to it nevertheless…Let go of your mind and then be mindful. Close your ears and listen… Rumi

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler…Henry David Thoreau

Each morning we are born again what we do today is what matters most…. Buddha

No problem is ever solved in the same consciousness that was used to create it… Life is a preparation for the future; and the best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none… Albert Einstein

Be happy in the moment; that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more…Mother Teresa

There is a vitality, a life force and energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique… Martha Graham

In today’s rush we all think too much-seek too much-want too much-and forget about the joy of just being. When you make friends with the present moment, you feel at home no matter where you are… Eckhart Tolle

Smile, breathe, and go slowly… Life is available only in the present moment. If you abandon the present moment, you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply… Thich Nhat Hanh

In the doing of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed…Kahlil Gibran

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens… Carl Jung

Paradise is not a place; it is a state of consciousness… Sri Chinmoy

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit…Aristotle

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to men as it is, infinite…William Blake

Go into yourself and see how deep the place is from which your life flows…The only journey os the journey within…Rainer Maria Rilke

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had… Elizabeth Kubler- Ross

Every moment is a utterly unique and will not be continued in eternity. This fact gives life its poignancy. Concentrate your attention on what you are experiencing now…We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us… Joseph Campbell

Develop an interest in life as you see it: the people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself… Henry Miller

Silence is the great teacher. You must pay attention to it. There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge and stability to come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence…Deepak Chopra>

He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions… Confucius

The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now…Robert Ingersoll

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens to the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you ever have… Howard Thurman

Mindfulness is about love and loving life .When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that. Each time is for the first time. Each moment the only moment..Jon Kabat – Zinn

Quotes taken from Art For Mindfulness Geometrics, by Andy Paciorek

Filed Under: Alternative Therapies, Anger, Anxiety, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Hopelessness, Meditation, Self Help, Stress, Stress Management, Therapeutic Coaching

Love, Vulnerability, & Relationship Problems

Posted on February 2, 2015 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

You’ve got shared history together. You love and you are loved. SO, why do you STILL feel lonely within a primary relationship with your spouse, family member, or friend?  Long-term feelings of isolation make us depressed, stressed, angry and empty.

“He/she just doesn’t communicate (feelings)!  She/he wants information from me but never says much in return.” I meet and coach families that know virtually nothing about each other’s inner hopes and heartbreaks, pasts and plans. We are all so swept up with life, it’s hard to make time for emotional intimacy.  Are we listening across the generations  to each others’ hurts and heartbeats, memories and dreams?

Psychologist Arthur Aron says “One key pattern (in) the development of a close relationship is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self disclosure.” I agree.

If your husband never gives any details about his “bad day at work,”  or you avoid telling a close friend about your medical challenges, you and they lose important opportunities for intimacy.

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Simply being with a parent, best friend, cousin, or spouse, even when we’re engaged in meaningful, productive activity just isn’t enough. It’s natural to be instinctively protective or even ashamed of our weaknesses, fears and failures. Today though, I choose a different path. I am courageous. I’ve learned to draw closer by consciously baring and (selectively) sharing my “Achilles heels,” by starting conversations at a deeper level and asking questions which get to the heart of things.

I don’t expect immediate solutions or changes related to these moments,  just the benefits of love and loving.

 

Filed Under: Adult Children Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Communication Breakdowns, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Depression, Divorce, Family Breakdowns, Family Conflicts, Frustration, Grief, Hopelessness, Indifference, Introversion, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, Marital Counseling, Marital Therapy, Sadness, Stress Management, Therapy, Transitions, Women's Issues

Helping Kids Before There’s “Real” Trouble

Posted on March 7, 2013 Written by Allison Spitzer Leave a Comment

ctpost-3613As schools and mental health providers struggle to improve identification and delivery of services to children and adolescents with mental health issues, let’s not overlook the vital role of preventative care available to families whose struggles are “normal,” whose children may not need psychiatric help but may need assistance dealing with issues life presents.

The article in Sunday’s Connecticut Post, (“How to identify, help kids with mental health disorders), does not address those with normal struggles — struggles that if left unaddressed might very well develop into something more debilitating.

The first-grader who is shy becomes the third-grader a bit lonely. By seventh grade, is he isolated, and by ninth, bullied? What happens in senior year? Is she cutting herself? Is he aggressive? Are there drugs, academic troubles, and risky behavior which might have been averted if families had reached out before there was “trouble”? For children, teens and families stressed by today’s social and environmental factors, those without “mental health disorders,” it can be all too short a jump to labels and “problems.”

As a life skills therapist and communications coach who deals with stress management, I urge parents who wonder about their children, “Is something wrong?” not to wait. Take action. Better to take a pre-emptive strike on the difficulties our kids bury, even if they don’t seem monumental at the time. Like the homeland security ad on TV, “If you see something, say something” — if you think something’s off with your child, there probably is. Check it out. Make it right before there’s a crisis, diagnosis, file, label or doctor needed. It’s not “making a mountain out of a molehill”; it’s preventing that mountain down the road from spewing lava.

Allison B. Spitzer

Read more: http://www.ctpost.com/news/article/Take-action-before-child-s-problems-worsen-4333854.php#ixzz2MuIHVT8f

Filed Under: ADD/ADHD, Adolescent Issues, Anger, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Back to School, Behavioral Problems, Bullies, Communication Breakdowns, Conflict Resolution, Coping Skills, Crying Spells, Defiance, Failure, Fears, Frustration, Hopelessness, Kids & School, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, Motivation Problems, Parenthood, Parenting Problems, Peer Problems, Relationship Problems, Rudeness, Sadness, Social Problems, Stress, Stress Management, Teen Anxiety, Teen Troubles, Truancy, Underachievement

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